Will you watch the sunset with me everyday?

Thursday, November 27, 2008

I always thought online shopping is convenient, but i was so wrong. Instead it was so troublesome. I've been waiting for my items for more than 3weeks. Only one dress i have received so far, but guess what?? IT'S A WRONG DRESS. now i have to spent them back the dress, and wait. worst dont even know whether they have stocks. ARG!! They just making me PISSED. dont know how to do your job properly, then dont follow people and open online shopping. DUMPER!!

Those online shop are fashion.babe live and ♣♥DreAms Fashi0n♥♣ from friendster.
DO NOT ORDER STUFF FROM THEM.

Labels: Online shopping.

lil' queen
9:26 AM

Friday, November 21, 2008

Guys are the most scariest creature on earth.

They do things behind your back without you know. They never respect your privacy. You never know which of their words is true, and action can deceived you too. They will do whatever they can just to get you, but once they got you is another story (they act like beast). Sometimes the things they do are just so disgusting. And you will be shock when you found out of the things thay do to you.(in a bad way)

Have you ever wonder how many times have you said 'ILOVEYOU' to how many girls??

Labels: how am i going to believed in them.

lil' queen
10:54 AM

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Early this moring, i've received a msg from this girl called, Li Yun. She said she was Andy's girlfriend. (Andy is a guy from my work place and said he likes me before.). In the msg, she ask whether andy had confess to me and gave me flower? she said she wants the truth as Andy has cheated on him.

I was at a complete shock, i thot it was a prank call, but when i ask andre to call back the number, it was really her. And i saw her name before in Andy next to kin profile in my office. So i have no doubt and believed in her. I told her the truth of what Andy did for me. From buying to Buying food etc. I even told her that Andy once told me that he doesn has a girlfriend.

Honestly i feel sad for the girl when she told me that Andy had never give her a flower since the day they got together. She even told me that Andy says that i was ugly and lesbian that he wont fall for me. I was like WTH!!! what a idiot guy. Since when was i a les, i wish i could, but sadly to say i dont even attract to girls.

Now Liyun had confronted him, he admit his wrong. But guess what??? He still want to blame her for checking his phone. And still got the guts to say he love her still, but when she ask him, 'then why you still want to cheat on me?' He couldn answer. What a man without his balls.

Liyun really had make the right choice by leaving him. He doesn deserve her time and youth. She a smart and pretty girl, and i will always stand at her side. This guy is really useless. Feel so sad for his parents.

ANDY IS A FUCKING LIAR AND LOSER WHO ONLY KNOW HOW TO CHEART ON GIRLS. GIRLS OUT THERE, PLS BEWARE OF HIM.

Labels: Guys only used their DICK to think and not their heart.

lil' queen
5:02 PM

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Wonder what's our status now?? Pending bgr? that is so weird.

Still in a confusion state.

Labels: searching for love.

lil' queen
4:36 PM

Monday, November 17, 2008

SATURDAY NIGHT WAS SO FUNNN!! I went malaysia with Shaun, Joel and Nicolas. They rented this china car, Chery. The car was damn LOUSY!! hahaa. But going malaysia, we only can rent lousy car, if not there's a high chance that the car will be stolen. We went there to eat the seafood, meet my friend's family in malaysia and shop. We went back to singapore quite early,6.30pm as we going club later at night. Didn have time for dinner, so went home get a quick bath, watch tv alittle while. and wait for the guys to fetch me up. =))

Headed to butter factory for the very first time. Get in for free as my friend is on the guest list. Everything seems fun when you're high. hahaa. but i didn drink much, but the drink contain lots of alcohol and shared only with 2 people. which is shaun and ME.hahaa. Dance like crazy and of cos UGLY. haha. Sweat alot and headed now to PLAY, a gay club. First time there too. WHOO!! GAYS ARE COOL AND CUTE!!! hahaa. now i was even more high. get to see guy kissing and smooching one another. haha. Wasted didn get to take a pic of it. but i did make some new gays friends. they are so handsome, wasted they are not guy. =(( but we can sistas. hahaha. nice knowing them and nice gossiping about guys with them.

Went home about 5am and still abit high and slightly drunk. cos i cant even walk properly thou i know whats going on. worst i cant even speak properly, which i dont even know what im trying to say or remember what i had said. hahaaa.

The next day, i woke at 11am. LISTEN AGAIN, ITS 11AM. hahaa. i only sleep for like 6 hours. and i cant go back to slp and i cant even move. My whole body was aching everywhere, hungry, thirsty, and was complaining to andre. I know i shouldn even contact him, but some how i just feel like telling him. I was msging Joel the whole morning and afternoon. And you guess what, he told me that _ H_ _ N actually brought lubicon and condom last night. He was actually planning to ....k me. Shouldn say much. it was too disgusting.hahaa Then Joel said that he actually spoiled ...'s plan by protecting, blah blah blah. i dont know whether to believe him anot as i only know joel that night. but its still better to play safe than not, and its funny. oh btw, PLEASE IM NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL WHO YOU THINK I AM OKAY. if he really did that, i serious make sure he wont have his balls the next day. haha. seriously i dont what ... mind is thinking. GOSH. GUYS ARE SO DISGUSTING.

okay back to normal topic. Andre came to my house after he had lunch with his dad. Though i wish he didn come, but my heart still want him to. But when i saw him, i seriously hope that he didn come. So maybe i will hate him even more and now im in a confuse state. My heart when soft when i see him which i shouldn. I REALLY HATE MYSELF. SERIOUSLY!!! ARGGG! Why must he do this to me. i really trying very hard to forget him, but now i really confused. Why are we now, still bgr?? NO!! we CANT!! and i dont want to.. i dont want to get hurt again, i dont to believe you again. Maybe we could be friends for now. Maybe more than friend.

I STUCK IN A CONFUSION STATE.

Labels: Confused.I HATE MYSELF.

lil' queen
10:12 AM

Friday, November 14, 2008

If I were a boy
Even just for a dayI’d roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it
Because they’d stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone its broken
So they think
that I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waiting for me to come home (to come home)

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a gir
lI swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)
Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted)
And everything you had got destroyed

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you're just a boy
You don’t understand (yea you don’t understand)
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you’ll wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy…

YOU GO GIRL!!!

Labels: If i were a boy by Beyonce.

lil' queen
2:12 PM

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I got even more angrier after reading his blog. What do you mean i have problem. Firstly, have you ever tot why i will reply you that hurtful msg, when you asking me how am i feeling?? The reason behind is, WHY SHOULD I TREAT YOU NICE. you knew that i was sick in the afternoon. yet you still want to go out with your friends and even got drunk. NVM. NO CALL, NO MSG from you the whole afternoon and evening. YOU CALL THAT CARING AND CORNING MSG WHEN I RECIEVED IT AT 10PM. Is that your concern and caring? This that what you call YOUR ACTION. Saying im not listening, why should i give you the chance to speak? Did you bother to call me before you meet you friend. Did you really know what i want that day. NO!! you dont and never will you. If not you also wont do this to me. and the $200? Am i asking much or little?? after all the things and the way you treat me. You got my leg injuried, nv even bother to bring me to the hospital straight after the fall, never even bother to do anything. Now i have a perm scar on my both legs, you only know how to buy a scar remover, and its after a long long time, a few months i can say. I have to even fought out my own money to pay for the medication, bandage and ect. which is more than $200. Then, I never even complaint once. How about the pain and suffering you have cause me?? This really show how much you really care for me. Your problem is even more than me, up till now you still didn notice. Touch your heart and say do i deserved more than $200?? I dont care whether you have money anot, cos thats not my problem. Blame it your action and yourself for turning this relationship nasty.

YOU HAS NO BALLS!!!

Labels: BLAME IT ON YOURSELF.

lil' queen
12:51 PM

Last month of today, is someone birthday. Everything was fine then. It will be great with everything is still the same. But i really cant forgive him this time round. What did i done to deserved all this. i've been asking myself that ever since that day. I put all my effort to built this relationship, how could he ruin my happiness. Anyway its over. I feel so lost now. Am i able to fall in love again?? Am i able to forget him totally? Time will tell me someday. I felt terrible to face this alone, as i cant tell my family or best friend, because im not ready to do so. Not because im still holding on him, but because they know how serious i took this relationship, and they trust him so much that my mom even help him sometimes. I agree is because they doesn know his weakness and I dont want to disppoint them.

Yesterday his friend try to talk to him about his wrong. And he said that andre knew his wrong and regretted about it. But he wasn. Yesterday, i been asking him to return the money he owe me which is $300 and my cousin $69. And he didn reply till midnight. He called, and start yelling at. Who is he to do that? He owe me money first, make me disapoointed and even heart break. And now has pushed me to the limit. Now he msg saying he is sorry about the yelling. FOR WHAT!!! He always do this, after hurting someone, he only say sorry or oh i really regret. FUK! Since you will regret, then when in the first place you want to hurt me. Its really pointless say all this. Cause i will still believe, if you really love a person, you will never make the person upset or hurt. And you will never leave her alone when she need you the most. So from what your action tells me, YOU NEVER LOVED ME THAT MUCH. is all your words said that you are but your action always do otherwise. This is so contradicting!!! And i will not believe any of your words.

Now he has no right to say whether im wrong or right. He even dont have the right to call me USELESS GIRL. But i have yes! He did yesterday thou i call him useless man first. But all i had said its all true about him. Im alr being kind enough for not call him a bastard. And for this i think i have made the right choice to leave him.

A beast will never change into handsome prince in the reality world. And HE is the BEAST. Like how i used to believe in fairytales, but now i have wake up my senses and face the reality.

Im left Alone, so cold!

Labels: broken heart and emptiness within me.

lil' queen
10:10 AM

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I have make up my mind and no matter what happen, i will face it myself. i need to be strong!!

Something terrible thing had happen yesterday. and i felt pain and dispointment.
I was sick yesterday, having a bad headache and stomach cramp. Hope for someone to care. Told him that i wasn feeling well, and waited for his call. But i recived no call throughout. Went to take my medicine, taking care of myself alone, fighting with the pain alone. Suddenly recieved a call from him. Hoping for something and realize it was his friend. It suppose to be a prank call. i heard the background is full of sound and seems like he was having fun with his friends. From what the friend say, most of the people there is drunk and HE is lying on the sofa. And when i hear this call, i am disppointed and depressed. WHO AM I TO HIM? came to my mind first. looking back i have given him many chances, and he doesn cherish it. THIS TIME IM NOT GOING TO LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN. This incident has shown that he doesn care and irresponsible act. Now i really look down on him, and knowing with he this attitude, he will never succeed in life. So i have make up my mind to cut this off, and stop myself from suffering. I know i feel abit 'BU FU', because i work so hard for this relationship and he actually give me this in return. That why i seriously need alot of courage to overcome this. I know this is the hardest part, but i still have to end this for my own good.

IHATEHIM!!!

Labels: A new life.

lil' queen
9:38 AM

Monday, November 10, 2008

I do angry when things doesn go my way. yup!! thats me. And if someone hurt me, i will hurt him double back. I know im being selfish. But i just cant stop myself for being like this. I dont know how to treat the person well, when they person dont even treasure or love me.

The feeling of being sick when nobody care is so bad and terrible. Worst. im now working. You said with all your words like you love me, ect. but when i told you that im sick, you never even show that you care. and still bother to go out with your friends. How am i going to believe and trust your words again?? I told you many many times, your words is more than your action, and you keep denying. Maybe oneday you will know it yourself, but i think by time its too late. You never learn your lesson.

I shall stop here, head still spinning. And i still got heart to heal.

Labels: Being selfish is a bad sin

lil' queen
2:47 PM

Friday, November 07, 2008

When will my luck change?? Im surprise today!! I really loved what you did for me yesterday lunch. If everyday is like yesterday, it will be great! Is always the little thing counts. I hope its not because i was angry yesterday then you do all this. I wish these things you do, will never stop.

-PROVE ME WRONG!

Labels: waiting to be loved.

lil' queen
5:05 PM

Thursday, November 06, 2008

I HATE KAM!!!! and im serious. i dont know why times and times you will hurt me, and time to time i had forgive you. But you never cherish it. and i dont know why. Am i not important to you?? then who am i to you?? i have so many question with no answer in my head. I really wish i could forgive you this time, but you still have to show something to prove that i can believe you this time. I dont wish to scold you everytime too. You think i really want to insult you or say anything that is rude? NO!! i never want too. Do you know, everytime i say those things, my heart too. But you really have make me think whatever i have done for you are useless. And i kinda regretted it now, which i should feel this way. Those days we never meet, i realise i actually dont miss you like how i used too. It surprise me. And i hope you could leave me alone, so i wont get hurt anymore.

To be honest, if you said i was mean, do you ever thought that you are meaner. Who have make me come to this way?? ITS YOU!!!! So blame yourself. I have done my part and i will not do it again.

I really want to know 'What is love?' By hurting the person times and times, does that call L-O-V-E??

- Trying to heal myself with my broken heart. Knowing it's painful, but i have to no matter what.

Labels: pissed.angry.upset.irritated.disappointment with swollen eyes.

lil' queen
9:09 AM

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

I went online looking for camera and hp that i wanted to get. they have their advantage and disadvantage. Its so hard to decide which one is good. i dreaming of geting Sony T Series DSC-T700 (red) and Sony Ericsson W980. i love sony stuff, beside their product is good, their product are always stylish too. and i love it!!! hahahaa. $$$ please come and stay in my wallet and make sure you done leave!! :D

Isnt they sweet!!

Labels: Shopping makes my day.

lil' queen
12:23 PM

YUP! I've changed my skin. Sorry dude, no tag. still trying to insert tag. oh man. I've throw away everything i've learn in ITE. hahahaa. Will do some improvement soon.

i just bought a few clothes online. thanks to shaun's help for the paypal, and of cos andre for donating $100 to me. whahahaa. $$$ makes your world go round. In total i spent $220. Can you imaging i spent like $59 just on postage. i think i was con by the person. It's kinda of pissed when i say i want to change it to meet up instead of postage, but she insist of posting. Giving so many excuses just make me pissed off. But i really like these item. Cant she just close opne eye by seeing me buying so many items from her???? Why kind of service is this!!!

The item i bought:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Andre has msg me this yesterday. after we talk on the phone

A: I know i am a bad boyfriend but i will be more responsible prson. Action is what i have to show. You have taught me lots of things to treasure someone. I thank you all this while and open my eyes.

No matter how much you says or do, you can nv change my view on you. Maybe sometimes and a very long one. I will still believe 'leopard will never changed its spots'. So many days i have given you, and it now, you still the same. how would i believe again?? People has to move on still and expect for a better. We all cant stay the usual-self, if not we will be way behind of the society. And the fact is, i got no confident in this relationship. Nobody will know what will happen in future, and im afraid of the future too.

Labels: Time wait for no man.

lil' queen
9:22 AM

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Will things go back the same??? i doubt so. All the things that had happen, i just cant forget. i really wish i could trust you again, but i cant bring myself to do that (to prevent myself from getting hurt). i may treat you like fling now, but who knows what the future will become. maybe this way will be better for us or maybe you will get someone better. I have enough of suffering, and i believe i will stand up again soon, back to the same old me. These days im quite depressed and stress. But soon the sunshine will be back. i believe. I been telling myself to be strong. and i will be. God, will give me the light someday, and will guide me thru the light.

No Worries! I will still smile and i will always will, even if my heart is in pain.

Believe that there's light at the end of the tunnel. Believe that you may be that light for someone else. --Kobi Yamada

Labels: Stronger than yesterday =))

lil' queen
3:22 PM