Will you watch the sunset with me everyday?

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Final dicision have made. I WILL NV COMMIT IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. maybe i will just commit what a bestfriend would do for now. But i will still look for my long lost happiness. Its time for me to step back alittle. A little advise, I will look more on action rather than word, and im currently very sensitive. i dont except even a little mistake. so think twice when you said, you love me. Its a strong word.

Diet??? YES!! i think i need to change my diet and even my whole entire life. Its time for my to spend more time for myself. you may think im some loner? but im not. i found a new friend, and that's me!! okie. Diet plan. i shall eat less and rest more.

Breakfast: heavy breakfast.

Lunch: something light.

Dinner: moderate.

Whenever hungry, eat FRUITS!!

-control in mind, heart and soul.

Sleeping time: before 1130am (min 7 hours of slp)

- friends pls dont contact me after 1130. thanks

swimming once a week / sit-up everyday.

result: back to 40kg in 2months time. say bye bye to dark circle.

Aim: hot body like her. hahahahaha. she's hot. *drooling.

Labels: being a prefectionist is my goal.

lil' queen
11:35 AM

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Disappointment after disappoint. how long do i have to 'tahan'. i have make the dicision, and you pull me back. and now you push me down the hround. im confuse about your feeling. Your words is there, but how about your action. im not asking for material, im just asking love. i have given you alot of chance, and have done what a girlfriend should. isn that enough?? why do you have to hurt be times and times.

you still dont know the full me. i haven tell you all the story. i dare not see , hear and even speaks. Im so afraid to commit so much, cause i got no confident what will happen next. im just a lady in a small dark box, that look for a light.

*Woman are once an angel in heaven, when they met the man they love, they are like a broken wing bird.

Labels: looks strong on the outside but do you know the inside world.

lil' queen
4:41 PM

Friday, October 24, 2008

Me myself and I by Beyonce

I can't believe I believed everything we had would last
So young and naive of me to think she was from your past
Silly of me to dream of one day having your kids
Love is so blind it feels right when it's wrong

I can't believe I fell for your schemes I'm smarter than that
So dumb and naive to believe that with me you're a changed man
Foolish of me to compete when you cheat with loose women
It took me some time but now I moved onBecause I realized I got

Chorus
Me, Myself and I that's all I got in the end
That's what I found out
And there ain't no need to cry
I took a vow that from now on
I'm gonna be my own best friend

Repeat
So controlling to say that you love me but you don't
Your family told me one day I would see it on my own
Next thing I know I'm dealing with your three kids in my home
Love is so blind it feels right when it's wrong

Now that it's over stop calling me come pick up your clothes
Ain't no need to front like your still with me all your homies know
Even your very best friend try to warn me on the low
Took me some time but now I am strong
Because I realized I got

Me, Myself and I that's all I got in the end
That's what I found out
And there ain't no need to cry
I took a vow that from now on
I'm gonna be my own best friend

Bridge
Got me, myself and I
(I know that I will never disappoint myself)
I must have cried a thousand times
(All the ladies if you feel me help me sing it out)
I can't regret time spent with you
(Yeah you hurt me but I learned a lot along the way)
So I have vowed to make it through
(After all the rain you'll see the sun come out again)

Bridge
Now I've got me, myself and I
(I know that I will never disappoint myself)
I must have cried a thousand times
(If ya cried a thousand times ladies you will survive)
I can't regret time spent with you
(Yeah, ya hurt me but I learned a lot along the way)
So I have vowed to make it through
(I can see the sunshine, I got Me, Myself and I)

me: i must be stronger than before. =))

Labels: sometimes guys are so mean, that they left us with no choice.

lil' queen
10:09 AM

Thursday, October 23, 2008

still considering whether i have made a right choice. Its hard to forgive someone but for your love ones? Why everytime, i have made my dicision, and make up my mind to stand up on my own. You will somehow come and look for me. You know my weakness, and stay away for it. Why must i be so soft-hearted. i hate myself for that. i know im gonna regret this dicision. But i still walk myself to the danger zone, and i just cant stop myself. WHY WHY WHY!?!?

Labels: after breaking all the promises., Does everyone deserve a chance

lil' queen
4:14 PM

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Me to Him,

Sitting beside you, staring into your eyes
my stomach does a flip and my heart cries.
I don't think I should be feeling, like I am today
because every time you touch me, our love just melts away.
I know you'd do anything, to keep me by your side
but I'm not feeling the same, and I don't know why.
It used to be that every time you touched me I felt like flying,
but today I'm feeling strange. I feel like our love is dying.
So the hardest part now, is for me to figure out
if today will last forever, or am I just having doubts.
Saying goodbye will be too hard, I already know.
I've already figured out that it’s hard to let people go.
I guess you could call me confused, because it’s obvious that I must be.
I guess I could wait for you, but I'd only be hurting me.
So until you're in my shoes, and know just how I feel,
Don't call me crazy, because you don't know the deal
I just want you to get the picture, that its my heart to break
and if I've done the wrong thing, then I'll learn from my mistake.
So I'm trying my hardest, I'm going to say goodbye,
its hurts for me to keep it in, but it hurts to see you cry.
So once again, here I am, not knowing what to do.
I don't want to hurt me, but it seems worse to be hurting you,
so I guess I’ll just hold on, it’ll try to keep it in
maybe this feeling I have today, wont ever come again.

Labels: will he understand??

lil' queen
12:42 PM

I know fairytales are all imaginary story to pull the kid from the reality. and i think i have believe and have put myself in to the fairytale land, that i doesn want to come back from the reality. When will my prince come and pull me away from the darkness of this world. i have asked myself many times. I know its childish and weird to think like this. But i still cant stop myself to think that way. Im too tired of life, that all the time i dont even want to wake up and face the reality. I know there is many beautiful thing in this world, but im strengthless to do or see the beautiful thing.
Sometimes, i dont even know what wrong with me. I just cant control my emotional and mentality. Everything seems to be in a mess. Relationship, school, work, EVERYTHING. There's is nothing left to make me happy. No one will understand me or make it a Never. Facing the world is so tough. Everyday putting a fake smile on my face, no one will even know there's a crack in the heart.
Now all my heart are shatter into pieces. and had given out to everyone, and left none for myself. Where can i find someone who i can lean on with no stress, headache, bodyache and put on a real smile everyday. This is all i ask for.
Responsible, Attentive, Hardworking, Honest = Prince = NEVER COME TRUE.

Here i am trying to fix my heart as hard as a steel. So it will be pain-proof. So nobody could hurt me or break my heart, no matter how hard they try. Keep telling myself to strong and believe i can do it. This mean, i have to be a selfish person, never to myself deep into a relationship, never to commit, never believe in anyone and yourself, running away from all the truth and world.

Marching to my darkness of life...

lil' queen
11:59 AM

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

A peom from me to you: <3

You have given me a second chance in lifeSometime before you I couldn't cop with the strifeYou've given me that love I dreamed of foreverHappiness I been united with now that we're togetherYou've touched my heart so deeply with your gentle touchTo world I will never deny that I love you so muchWords can't explain how thankful I am of youYou have brought my smiles to overcome my blueThe moments that we have shared the memories we makeI promise your heart won't shatter or even breakMy world has changed forever now that you are hereI miss you so much when you are not nearI've opened up my everything to you because I trust youThe more comfortable I am with anything we go throughThe love you and I share has made us one wholeYou have made my life complete from once an empty soulYou will always be the guy who will stand out from the restI'll never forget each memory that you made the bestForever in my heart baby with this love I'll always keepI'll always have you in my heart even when I'm asleep.

Hope you will like it, cos i love it. =))

Labels: Happiness and sadness are not caused by your surroundings. They’re caused by your thinking.”

lil' queen
9:38 AM

Monday, October 20, 2008

I dont mind giving you one last chance. Please do treasure this. I will trust you, Believe in you for this very last time. I really love you, but please dont make this love into hatred. I really dont wish that day will come. My biggest wish is that you will get successful. I do agree my expectation on you are high, but pls accept it and go for it. If one's expectation is not high, there wont have space for improvement. Take your time, but do work hard on it. Dont and stop finding excuse to cover up your mistake and beinf lazy, instead use those time to work on your mistakes. And it's time to wake up and be responsible for your act. I know its easy to say, but hard to be done. But i know you are a strong person, and can overcome all obstacle. And if you work hard, you will definitely reach the highest point.
. i love you

Labels: if our heart were made of steel., We would be less fragil

lil' queen
10:38 AM

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Men are like dogs when it comes to sex because they forget about their lover an hour after being intimate with them. - Hollywood legend Jack Nicholson

lil' queen
4:17 PM

We quarrel again and again. Should everything comes to an end? i dont know. You hurt me enough. this time, i really dont know how am i going to forgive you. You never show a bit of respect to me. Telling your dad about me, is so out of the way. Please, i never even said bad word about you infront of my mom. And there's no reason for you to put me into the story. Your dad scold but is none of my business. When are you going to learn to be responsible for your own action and be mature. For god sake, you just reach 20, it time for you to grow up. You are no longer a kid.

I think in my whole entire life, i will never find a person who will treat me well or truely love me. Why am i always taking care of people. im too tired, i might breakdown oneday. No-one will actually care about me even if i die. Im such a lousy bitch. I know it myself, i know dont deserve anyone love. But pls stay away from me if you dont love me. Why you ppl have to be so evil, to break people's heart again and again. Is that your job or what.
Everything has torn into pieces, even glue can never help.

Shoulder is getting heavier each day, will you carry me if i fall??

Labels: Today is not my day, Yesterday was my worst day ever.

lil' queen
3:57 PM

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Sometimes i feel it's so hard to handle both. You dont know which to go with or side? as both are placed the same in your heart. they are your boyfriend and best friend. Even you want to ask them out together, one might not agree. and if you go out with one of them, your heart just seems to be with the other person. Things seem to be easily said but hard to do. I used to say if im in the relationahip, i will know how to handle both. But now, im in a mess. I dont which one one to choose, afraid the other party is not happy about it. Yes! they said its okie. But you will nv know whats deep down them. I believe they wasn happy, cos if me i will be very disappointed and sad. And i really want to say SORRY to this person. she did alot of things for me, always there for me, even when i have a boyfriend. She always so understanding, and never complain when im not there for her. I really love her alot. She is other than JOANNE TEE SHIYI. BIG HUG and KISSES to her. What can i do to repay her? NOTHING. She done to much for me, and i owe her alot. I only can pray for her and help her find her HAPPINESS! Cause no matter what, i really want her to be happy!!!

Labels: BF / BFF???

lil' queen
4:56 PM

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I really hate people when they only know how to talk, but no action done. then whats the point of saying it, and for god sake, this isn the same time. and not my first time saying it. For example, you said that you care for me, but yet when i need you, you wasn there. Afterall action really speaks louder than word. and little bits does matter too. It can really show how important the person are. And of course, you will only do the best for the person you love. If you just blarely used word but no action, it really show, the person does not matter to you. Maybe its time for you to learn that. If not, those who love you will very sad.

Labels: action speaks louder than words.

lil' queen
4:30 PM

Monday, October 13, 2008

oh man. still cant find any nice skin yet. still trying to look for one. this current skin is too boring.

Yesterday was andre's birthday. Finally i gave him the present (Aerospoke rim). What is that? dont ask, cos i have no idea too. i only know its a rim for a bike. nothing cool about it. but is quite costly. But for your love ones, price isnt a problem. i mean you still can saved the money, and earn it back. If money could buy a person smile or surprise, even it is expensive, it still worth everything. so yes!! i bought it for him with his friend's help to export it from HK. When he open the present, my heart was like bumping so fast. cos im excited too, wonder how will he react. But his reaction was so big that i got a shock, but happy. =)) He open the present, and go "crazy!!" and said OH MY GOD!! hahahaa. okie. i think im exaggerating. but it's true. Hee..

Andre and i suppose to meet Ivan and Sheryl at 6pm but we still at home, so change it to 7pm but we are still late. and ivan was not happy about it, and is understandable, cos if i were him, i will flare up too. We had dinner at this hotel (beside DFS @ Orchard). The buffet doesn not have attractive food. so didn eat much and of cos it doesn worth the money. im not a buffet person. i realise my mouth doesn like expensive food. hahahaaa. its a good things okie!! we headed for our movie after dinner. almost fall alsleep during the movie. i wont say its a bad show, but pls dont watch when you are tired, you really will doze off. Later, went to a bar to have some drink and have our long conversation till 3am and we have to leave, cos the bar is closing. We went sperate ways, and andre and i are going home... Its a long day. parents went to KL, sis went to her bf's house, so the house is all MINE!!! YAY! hahaa. *peaceful night =D Love today, thou andre and i have some conflict in the evening. but everything okie now. thank god.

On sunday, have a great breakfast cum lunch with andre. He cook while i doing housework. Its been long since i do housework, for the first time im perspirer alot when doing housework. But everything pays off when eating home cook food from your love ones. He left later, to go back to his house to changed and wash up. He came to my house again to fetch me and have dinner together with his family at YUM CHA. Its a buffet again, but it was so much better than yesterday, and it CHEAPER!!! as usual the dad fetch me home later, thanks uncle. thank you aunty for the dinner.
*still will feel ps when going out with his family.

MY PARENTS IS BACK FROM MALAYSIA. boring.....

Labels: dre., i love you

lil' queen
10:19 AM

Friday, October 10, 2008

Why does guy always asking girl to slim down? Did they actually thought that they are FAT too. Whats wrong eating our favourite food thou they are oily, fatty. Cant they just enjoy the chubby character in the girl. Or love the way they are and appreciate the beauty in them. Big size people can be beautiful too. Beauty does not only include curves, breast, face, legs. I dont know why guys only crazy over these things and neglected the chacacter. These things will change eventually as time goes by. People will grow old and the body wont be the same again. But true they can always find someone new and young. In total, there's no true love like how those fairy tales are. Its quite sad actually as for me, as im a girl. and of cos i will still think of those fairl tales. who dont unless you're not a girl. hmmm. but nvm, i except the reality that there's no true love in this earth. People are getting more selfish each time. Even if you are nice, there's definitely a motive in there.

Labels: Guys who asked girl to slim down are all bastard.

lil' queen
2:56 PM

Thursday, October 09, 2008

WHEEE!! im back. Im so sorry. Why?? Its because i actually forgotten about my blog, even the name of it. im serious. haha. Now when i go thru those previous post, i realize its been a YEAR since i blog. okie, i promise i will come in more often now but only during my office hour. hahaa. this is the only to kill your time when you are bored in the office.

There's so many things i have done in this pass one year. And i should just make it short. I got my driving and diving license. Im now working in the starhub as admin. diploma is undone. wasted alot of my time and money. bought my new blades. had my short fringe but it grew back. make new friends. many many up and downs. still in love with him and joanne. temper becoming worst. had a new hobby. and starting to read story book.

ITS TIME TO CHANGE THE SKIN. *still searching.

New life has begun...

Labels: bad things happen for a reason.

lil' queen
11:16 AM