Wednesday, October 22, 2008
I know fairytales are all imaginary story to pull the kid from the reality. and i think i have believe and have put myself in to the fairytale land, that i doesn want to come back from the reality. When will my prince come and pull me away from the darkness of this world. i have asked myself many times. I know its childish and weird to think like this. But i still cant stop myself to think that way. Im too tired of life, that all the time i dont even want to wake up and face the reality. I know there is many beautiful thing in this world, but im strengthless to do or see the beautiful thing. Sometimes, i dont even know what wrong with me. I just cant control my emotional and mentality. Everything seems to be in a mess. Relationship, school, work, EVERYTHING. There's is nothing left to make me happy. No one will understand me or make it a Never. Facing the world is so tough. Everyday putting a fake smile on my face, no one will even know there's a crack in the heart. Now all my heart are shatter into pieces. and had given out to everyone, and left none for myself. Where can i find someone who i can lean on with no stress, headache, bodyache and put on a real smile everyday. This is all i ask for. Responsible, Attentive, Hardworking, Honest = Prince = NEVER COME TRUE. Here i am trying to fix my heart as hard as a steel. So it will be pain-proof. So nobody could hurt me or break my heart, no matter how hard they try. Keep telling myself to strong and believe i can do it. This mean, i have to be a selfish person, never to myself deep into a relationship, never to commit, never believe in anyone and yourself, running away from all the truth and world. Marching to my darkness of life...
lil' queen
11:59 AM
